All I Desire is You, Lord

JesusAll I Desire Is You, Lord

Dear Heavenly Father, You know my heart. You know that I have truly desired and longed for abundant life. And I have finally realized that “Christ in me” is abundant life. And that Jesus has placed inside me the Holy Spirit, His Holy Spirit – You, Spirit of God! – and that I just need to “ask and it shall be given.” Indeed, You have already given me Yourself, dear Jesus, Your life, and Your Spirit who takes all that You have given me and is just waiting for me to allow Him to make it to be real and experiential here and now! By faith! Claiming and accepting Your promises, Your gifts.

And so here I am this morning, and I am just doing that. Casting aside any fears of “fanaticism,” no longer trying to “get along” with everybody, no longer worrying about rocking the boat. I just want all of You, God – all You have for me in all Your fullness.

I don’t want to hold back or dictate in any area. Even if it means giving up all my dreams, all I want is You. Because I am finally realizing that You are All. With all of You, there is nothing more to need or want or desire. I want You in me, me in You. I don’t want any more of me, any more of my dreams, my desires, my sense of fairness. I don’t want to hold back anything from You and Your will. Even my children, even their salvation, must be in Your will. That’s all.

I am hereby opening myself totally to Your power, Holy Spirit. I no longer want to be only “Christ-like.” I want to fully live, to be “Christ in me.” And that can only be as You, Holy Spirit, fill me now, and then keep on filling me, with the fullness of Yourself, with the fullness of Christ in me.

As I write this, I do not even know how to explain or express it clearly. But You know my heart, Lord. And I accept You, whatever that may mean. I want all of You in me, You living through me, me being You to the world. No matter what others may think or say or do. No matter what it does to “my life.” I give “my” life to You, now. Cast it away, destroy it, dear Holy Spirit, and come to live in every molecule and atom, every breath of my body and spirit. Even if I had to lose my mind, Lord, whatever it takes. Do with me whatever You will. Whatever!

Your word promises that if I ask, You will do. So I’m asking, and expecting, and even if I don’t see or feel anything, I accept Your fullness, dear Holy Spirit, now and forever. Thank You. Amen.
…My child, you know how much I love you. You know I have been with you all the way and I will be with you always and forever.
Sudden, utter stillness
The panic of my soul cut off.
Peace.
(I’m not quite sure how to handle it.)
This is Your way,
Isn’t it, Holy Spirit?
Just sit and wait
In the stillness.
Rest (how, Lord?
Teach me, I pray).
Just trust You.
Yes.
Okay, thank You.
It’s time to go, Lord.
Let me walk…
No, let me be with –
No, in – You.
And You in me.
Oneness. Unity. Obedience.
Childlike faith.
Trust and obey
And be happy in You!
Joy!
Thank You. Amen.

Date: November 22, 2005

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